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Mostly the article apologizes for the sex-negativity that is squicking another’s squee and for the fact that the original piece relied heavily on anecdotal evidence that is contrary to what actual statistics about anal sex have to say.
But it’s not an uncommon stance lately, particularly after Gillian Flynn’s now-infamous “cool girl” rant from “Gone Girl” that says women who enjoy sex acts that may be perceived as male-appeasing fantasies, such as anal penetration, are faking their interest in order to attract and keep men in a competitive dating environment. I’m a woman who likes anal sex, and I’m going to turn the tables here and say I think it’s weird that you think that’s weird.
I’m not sure anal sex will ever feel let’s say “soothing” to me in the way that cunnilingus does, but it is the pain, the sacrifice and the extremism of it that turns me on. Don’t judge.) The idea that only men are sexual thrill-seekers while women are tasked with the duty of either fending off or reluctantly indulging their porn-like preferences is just wrong and unfair.
Plenty of women also enjoy the psychological thrill of sex that is different.
Another complaint the original Urban Dater author had was that many guys subscribe to a double-standard regarding anal penetration.
That’s particularly fucked up when you think about it because it means men are being conditioned to fear one of their own body parts.
But if a man acts downright afraid of his own asshole, to me that signals a kind of insecurity and discomfort that I find unattractive in a potential partner.
So yeah, I vote with my vag in cases like those and instead choose to fuck people who are more comfortable with themselves, which is my prerogative as well as the author’s in selecting our respective partners.
Recently I came across an article posted on the Urban Dater written by a woman who just doesn’t believe women can actually enjoy anal sex.
She even insinuates that articles written in praise of the amazing orgasms women can sometimes experience from anal penetration may actually be written by men propagating a falsehood in the hopes of encouraging more women to spread their cheeks for the dicks of men everywhere.
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Some women report masturbating anally on their own or engaging in anal penetration with female partners, meaning it is possible to achieve pleasure from anal sex that has nothing to do with the involvement of men.