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“Sometimes, it’s easier and less painful for everyone if you drop clear hints,” rather than putting it bluntly, says Paul, 28 (who’s gay, but also my trusted guru on how men think).
Those hints might take the form of, say, “I’m super-busy, but it was great meeting you,” or, "I’m not in a good place to be dating." They shut things down without a less-personal blow.
Sure, you might have your tried and true, go-to make-out movies, but if you’re tired of watching for the 100th time, you need to change it up. The staff here at Collider put in some hard hours researching the best movies that the streaming giant had available for your next Netflix and Chill session, so you’re welcome.
But until Netflix creates a “Netflix and Chill” category–a real one, this time–you might find yourself struggling to come up with new movie suggestions to keep things fresh.
(Ugh.)“I don’t think there’s any data on exactly this issue, but on average, men tend to externalize and women tend to internalize,” says Joanne Davila, Ph D, a professor of psychology at Stony Brook University and the author of .“ you need to be upfront with people if it goes on and on and they don't get the hint, but I think a lot of guys — myself included — would prefer something less direct than, ‘I'm not feeling this,’" he adds.To be clear, he’s not advocating ghosting, but rather, some pointed white lies that leave a bro’s ego intact.In 2009, as early adopters (and possible part-progenitors) of the term, we began referring to the phenomenon as ghosting.In the seven years since, the practice has been labeled, analyzed, and of course, widely condemned. Though we can agree that ghosting sucks, we can’t stop doing it.
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“We can do the best we can to be clear and kind, but then it’s on the receiver to deal with it,” Davila says.