Grieving spouse dating

We were childless and seeking to adopt the year before she died.

A few months earlier Wendy lost her husband of 10 years when she was 37 leaving her with two young children, then ten months and four and a half years.

What we shared in common was we both had clearly defined objectives—she wanted not only a husband but also a father for her children.

I wanted a wife, but also wanted to raise children.

I met my first husband when I was 24 and married at 27 and had defined myself through my relationship with him.

Once alone I had to rediscover who I was and what I wanted before I began dating.

The circumstances of your loss are a key factor in this.

There’s a fundamental inequity in dating as people age; men hold most of the marbles.

I felt more powerful and able to see potential mates for what they were and weren’t.

I trusted my gut a lot more than when I was in my early 20’s.

There are far more available younger women who are single, divorced or widowed than there are available men.

There’s a cognitive dissonance in the minds of middle-aged men: they are programmed by nature to be attracted to younger women.