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What are the hotspots that make both of you tense and unwilling to compromise?
Do you immediately roll your eyes, or raise your voice?
Rather than keeping a running list in your head of their mistakes and shortcomings, redirect your negative thoughts to give credit for any positive effort, no matter how small. Fixing selfish, or toxic habits is the first step in fixing a broken marriage.
Stop yourself when your thoughts begin to spiral downward. The next step to save your marriage is to reconnect with your spouse.
Imagine the power a deep breath and a conscious choice to speak calmly could have in fixing a broken marriage.
If you fly off the handle and react so severely to everything that is said, then your marriage will be trampled by conflict and anger. You can choose to control your reaction, thereby controlling the situation.
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Even more powerful is the effect of listening to your partner’s point of view fully (without trying to conjure up a rebuttal) and then saying, “you’re right.” Try this. More importantly, watch your broken marriage begin to be repaired.